Rediscovering Confidence: Reconnecting with Your Horse and Yourself

Rediscovering Confidence: Reconnecting with Your Horse and Yourself

Many of my students come to me with a yearning to recapture the connection they once had with their horses during their youth. They speak nostalgically of their fearless rides and the unwavering companionship they shared with their horses. Yet, now they find themselves grappling with a waning confidence that isn't tied to any particular accident or negative experience.

The question then arises: where has this confidence gone, and why?

The Silent Emergence of Self-Doubt

As life's responsibilities accumulate—raising children, career demands, and personal health challenges—our priorities inevitably shift. These changes can lead to a creeping self-criticism. Thoughts such as "I’m too old," "too busy," or "I should focus on my children rather than my hobbies" begin to dominate, casting a shadow over our passions. This inner critic doesn't just affect us; it affects our horses. They are incredibly sensitive to our emotions, interpreting our self-directed negativity as a reflection of them.

A Moment of Clarity

I recall a poignant moment when a dear friend heard my self-criticism and stopped me in my tracks by saying, “Don't talk to my friend that way!” This was a turning point for me. It led me to reflect on how I communicate with myself in my horse’s presence and what emotions I might be inadvertently fostering in them. This introspection is crucial, as the way we treat ourselves often sets the tone for how we interact with our horses.

Building a New Foundation

The process of rebuilding confidence with your horse mirrors that of forming a bond with a new horse. It requires patience, understanding, and time. We wouldn’t chastise a new horse for feeling anxious in a new environment; similarly, we should offer ourselves the same grace. Begin by working on the ground—reestablishing basic commands and relearning each other's cues and moods. This slow, respectful approach helps to reinforce trust and reassurance between you and your horse.

Self-Compassion: A Path Forward

What if we treated ourselves with the same kindness we extend to a new horse? Imagine the profound impact it could have on our relationships with our horses if we approached our self-dialogue with compassion and patience. Rebuilding our confidence is akin to retraining a horse, where every small step in trust and understanding contributes to a stronger connection.

Join the Journey

I invite you to join me on this journey of self-discovery and relationship-building. Together, we can explore ways to enhance our self-worth and confidence, not just for our benefit, but for the profound positive effects it will have on our relationships with our horses. Let’s step forward with kindness and patience, both for ourselves and our horses.

Lynley